it's actually so bad rn.
i don't know if i'm just sick or the sickness has actually made me realize how sick i am. the past few nights have been a blur of random tears and thoughts i can't quite sort out. i feel like i've been running this program—my life on autopilot, and now that i’m forced to slow down, the bugs are becoming more obvious. maybe the sickness has stripped away the distractions, the little things that normally keep me occupied, and now ... i’m just left with me.
ahahaha [to be continued]